Sunday, January 7, 2018

Godiva Nun

INT.  LOCKED CHAMBER

Rose sits opposite Tina.  Tina is dressed formally.  Rose is

in prison clothes.  Rose is crying.  Tina is going through

her bag.  A few moments pass.

TINA

I'd appreciate it if you'd stop crying.

Rose continues to cry.

                    TINA (contíd)

          You have only thirty minutes, so let's

          spend it productively.

ROSE

Productively?

TINA

Yes.  We should talk.

ROSE

What is talking going to do?

TINA

Look, I've done fifteen of these in the last three years.  It's becoming a regular thing.  Flying back and forth between Florida and Texas.  It's mostly Florida and Texas.  Florida and Texas. It's something about the warm weather that gets these states to well, you know, do what they're doing to you.  So, anyway, I'm getting very good at this.

ROSE

Good at what?

TINA

Talking.  Oh, by the way, I can't stay for the whole thirty minutes.

ROSE

You can't stay?

TINA

Flight.  Back to Florida.  Pensacola,

mind you.  It's not even Miami or

Orlando, someplace with a little

entertainment.  The panhandle.  Dreadful. Consider yourself lucky.

ROSE

Lucky?

TINA

A car service is coming is twenty

minutes.  So we don't have much time.

ROSE

WE don't have much time!

TINA

The way this works is that you talk about what you did, confess it all, get it off your chest, clear the old conscience, ask for forgiveness, cry a little...a little more than you have been, that is, and then go to the gas chamber.  Now look, we've wasted five minutes with all this orientation stuff, so can we get started?

ROSE

Didn't you read my case?

TINA

I have your file right here.

ROSE

I'm innocent.  The file shows that I claim to be innocent.  So I have nothing to confess.  I have nothing to get off my chest.  I have a clear conscience.

TINA

Yes.

ROSE

So we have nothing to talk about.

TINA

Yes...well, usually this "I'm innocent" thing gets dropped by now...I mean really, they're dropping that little cyanide pill in a bucket of acid in 22 minutes.  For chrissake, don't you want to go to your grave with a clear

conscience?

ROSE

I have 22 minutes, and I'd like to be alone.  I'd like to...I'd like to try not to feel hate...I don't want to feel hate while they're bringing me to the the...so could you just leave and leave me alone.

TINA

Oh, I can't do that.  Alone is bad.

ROSE

I can't believe this.  Who picks the people who do what you do?

TINA

I have a present for you.

ROSE

A present?

Tina pulls out a small box.

TINA

Chocolates. There from Godiva.  Very expensive.  It's there small box, only four candies, which is usually sufficient given the time constraints.

ROSE

You think I have an appetite?

TINA

I'm known as the Godiva Nun.  Funny, isn't it?  Would you like one?

ROSE

OK, so now I get it.  Sitting in a room with you is worse than sitting in a gas chamber.  That's the service you perform. Is that it?  Is that your technique?  You make the inmate beg to be taken to the gas chamber because they can't stand another second being alone with you.

TINA

You don't have to get nasty.

ROSE

Do you have a degree?  Do they require some kind of training for what you do? Does Pope John Paul know he has nuns like you running around destroying the last moments of someone's life?

Tina looks at Rose's file.

TINA

Listen, Gloria, I have never had to deal with such an attitude.

ROSE

My name is not Gloria.  My name is Rose.

TINA

Poor thing.  You are in such deep denial that you've changed your name from Gloria Vinson to Rose.

ROSE

My name is Rose Mittleman.  Gloria Vinson is down the hall.  She's scheduled in two weeks.  Don't tell me you're supposed to visit her too?

Tina looks in her bag and pulls out another file.

TINA

Oh.  Oh jeez.  I've never done that before.  Sorry.  Jet lag.  So you're Rose Mittleman.  Yes.  Yes.  Oh well, you won't be needing me anymore.

ROSE

I never needed you.

TINA

Here's your pardon letter.  I forgot. Silly me.  I get things so confused sometimes.

Rose takes the letter and reads it.

TINA (CONTÍD)

Running around from state to state.

Never getting any sleep.  And you know the food is just the pits on those big jets.  Just nuts and soda.  Thank god you can buy a gin and tonic.

ROSE

Is this a joke?  I've been pardoned by the Governor.

TINA

Yeah.  One of those last minute things. They just gave it to me before I came in...

ROSE

How could you forget such a thing?

TINA

Well, you know, those gin and tonics can really screw up your short term memory.

Rose hugs Tina.

TINA

OK.  OK.  It's OK.  So I brought you good news.  That's my job.  That's my job.

ROSE

Thank you.  Thank you God.

TINA

My name's Tina.  But it's God's will. God's will is what it is.

Rose releases Tina.

ROSE

Thank you Tina.

TINA

Listen, can I have those chocolates back. They don't have a Godiva store in Pensacola and I didn't plan ahead.  So this pardon thing really works out for the best.

Rose laughs and hands Tina the box of chocolates.

THE END.

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