Monday, January 1, 2018

Apartment in The Woods

               INT.  LOFT APARTMENT

               The lights are low.  There is a beam of light that cuts into
               the FRAME along the floor and up the wall.  We are facing the
               corner of a room.  The light beam cuts across the corner.
               Standing in the corner in the beam of light is MALLORY.  Into
               the light walks GINA.  Mallory is a brunette and Gina has
               very long blond hair.  Mallory is stiff with near panic.
               Gina seems to be calmer.

                         OK, all the doors are locked.

                         Just tell me.  Where did you get
                         this real estate broker's name?


                         Craigslist.  You joking me?  Anyone
                         can place an ad on Craigslist.

                         Calm down Mallory.  We'll find a
                         way out.

                         I knew there was something wrong
                         with him.

                         We don't know that yet.

                         He locked the doors.  The windows
                         are all locked.  He turned the
                         lights out.  And now we can't find

                             (yelling loudly)
                         Mr. Ricola.  We're over here.

                         Why are you telling where to find
                         us?  And think
                         Ricola's is his real name?  He took
                         that off a throat lozenge.

                         You know, I am starting to re
                         assess whether we should be
                         roommates.  I didn't know you had
                         an hysterical side.

                         I am not hysterical.  I mean, why
                         should I be?  We have only been
                         locked up by some psycho broker.

                         Listen to me, I am going to walk
                         alone the outside wall, all the way
                         around the arpartment.  I am sure I
                         will find some way to get out.  You
                         stay here.


                         You stay here...

                         That is the classic mistake made in
                         every horror movie.  I am not
                         staying here.

                         Oh, and what are you going to do if
                         I bump into our psycho man and he
                         chops my head off.  You going to be
                         able to deal.

               A moment.

                         OK, but just be quick about it.

               Gina leaves.  Mallory stands alone.  She is really starting
               to fall apart, but doing the best she can to buck up.

                                   MALLORY (CONT'D)
                             (singing to herself)
                         Oh the weather outside is
                         frightful...but in here it's so
                         delightful...And since we've no
                         place to go...let it snow...let

               We HEAR a scream.  A very loud awful scream.  Mallory
               stiffens.  IN walks LIAM.
               He is holding in his hand a very long strand of blond hair.
               Liam has some blood on his hand and shirt.

                         So, what do you think of the

                             (loudly calling)
                         Gina.  Gina.

                         I think she's indisposed at the
                         moment.  She has great hair, don't
                         you think? (referencing to the hair
                         in his hand)


                         It's like silk.  I have never had a
                         keepsake this beautiful.

                         She's going to be really pissed
                         when she finds out you cut her

                         Ha ha ha....that's funny.  (a
                         little crazy)  You're the funny
                         one.  You have two female
                         roommates, and one of them is
                         always the funny girl.

                         We're not roommates...and quite
                         frankly I am not feeling very funny
                         right now.  Can you just
                         like...turn the lights on and...

                         Show you another apartment?...this
                         was the only one on my list.
                         Sorry.  You really don't like it,
                         do you?  I can tell.  I can tell
                         things like that.  What a girl is

               Mallory is almost hyper-ventilating, but she is also
               thinking, her mind racing.

                                   LIAM (CONT'D)
                         You know...there's no air
                         conditioning.  So you might want to
                         take off your shirt.  It's a little
                         hot in here.

                         Excuse me, but I have boundaries.

               Liam seems to stiffen with rage.  He grabs both ends of the
               long blond hair and starts to twist it into a tight strand.

                         You have boundaries?

                         Everyone has boundaries.

               Liam takes a step forward, slowly.

                         Ooooooooh.  Have I just crossed
                         past your boundary?  Huh?  Did I do

                         I'll take off my jacket.

               She does this.

                                   MALLORY (CONT'D)
                         See, I'm cooperating.

                         You're not cooperating.  You're
                         negotiating.  And I hate when girls
                         think they can negotiate.  You see

               Liam references the very tight length of blond hair.

                                   LIAM (CONT'D)
                         The Nazis used piano wire.  They
                         wrapped one wire round the neck and
                         let the body's weight slowly pull
                         the wire through the flesh,
                         eventually snapping right through
                         the spinal cord.  It's really
                         (shivering his head)...yuck.  I
                         would never do that.

               At this moment, a baseball bat slams into the side of Liam's
               head.  He goes flying into the dark.
               Gina is standing behind where Liam was holding the bat.  She
               is bruised on her face pretty bad and her hair is cut sort.
               Mallory screams.

                         That's for the bad haricut.

               Gina tosses the baseball bat at the floor in the direction of
               where Liam must have landed.

                         Jesus you have to be so

                         Sorry.  I'm not in the best mood.

                         Well, I'm not cleaning that up.

                         I found a walk-in closet with
                         shelves of athletic gear.  It's
                         really quite a nice place.

               Mallory picks up her jacket from the floor.

                         Did you happen to find a way out to
                         the street?  I am suddenly in a
                         shopping mood.

               Gina is touching her hair, or what is left of it.

                                   MALLORY (CONT'D)
                         It doesn't look that bad, actually.

                         I am not interested in bonding,

                         Yeah, OK.

                         We can bond later.


                         Now let's go and...get a drink.

                         Good idea.  But there's this shoe
                         store down the block.  Can we take
                         a peak?  Just, like fast.

                                                               THE END.

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