Monday, January 1, 2018



            JENNY BROCK sits at a chair in front of a large table.  On
            the table is a blueprint of the proposed design of Jenny's
            new house in East Hampton.  Opposite Jenny sits KENDRA
            SAFFRON, the architect.   Jenny is looking at the plans.

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      So, what do you think?

                                JENNY BROCK
                      I don't like it.

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      It satisfies all your concerns without
                      adding any additional cost.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      I'm not concerned with additional costs.
                      Do you think I'm concerned with
                      additional costs?

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      What I'm saying is that I have added
                      square footage, together with an extra
                      bathroom, and by cutting back the
                      foundation footprint, I have kept the
                      cost essentially the same.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      Where's the pool?

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      Right here.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      No.  The lap pool.  I want a lap pool.

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      You said nothing about a lap pool.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      I distinctly remember saying I wanted a
                      lap pool.

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      You said you wanted a Jacuzzi.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      A large I can swim in.
                      Back and forth, back and forth.  I have
                      to do laps.

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      Well, we can add a lap pool.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      The kind that is inside and out.

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      Inside and out?

                                JENNY BROCK
                      A long one with one end inside the house
                      and the other end outside the house.

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      That requires a substantial re-working of
                      the wall supports...and of course it will
                      add substantially to the cost.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      I told you, I'm not concerned about the

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      If you don't mind me saying this, your
                      husband gave me instructions that he did
                      not want the total cost to exceed 1.4
                      million.  We are already at 1.38.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      I don't give a fuck what my husband said.
                      We're getting divorced anyway.

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      Getting divorced?

                                JENNY BROCK
                      He doesn't know it, and I'd appreciate it
                      if you'd keep your mouth shut about the

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      It would violate my professional code of
                      ethics to not advise him of the estimated

                                JENNY BROCK
                      Look, after the divorce, this house is
                      going to be mine.  I'm going to be living
                      in it, with my Pharaoh hound, Muffy, my
                      three Van Goghs, and my lap pool.  You
                      fudge the figures so the house gets built
                      the way I want it.

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      I can't do that.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      Where do you live?

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      And how is that relevant?

                                JENNY BROCK
                      Where do you live?

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      On 132nd Street and Morningside Avenue.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      It's a black area, right?

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      Not entirely.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      Well, it's mostly black, or at least dark
                      skinned, Hispanic, drug addicts, and you
                      people remain stuck in that
                      neighborhood...and do you know why?

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      No.  Tell me.  Why?

                                JENNY BROCK
                      Because you're not willing to fuck your

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      Excuse me?

                                JENNY BROCK
                      I'm not talking about sex.  I'm talking
                      about fuck, as in to screw, to pull a job
                      on your old man so you get the fruits and
                      make a killing.

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      Really.  I didn't realize that my people
                      were "stuck" for that reason.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      Absolutely.  White people have been
                      fucking each other for generations, and
                      that accounts for the fact that we own
                      homes on Park Avenue and East Hampton and
                      you're stuck in some railroad flat in

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      I happen to own a brownstone with my

                                JENNY BROCK
                      A brownstone in Harlem.  Really.  You
                      call that living.

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      I think this meeting is over.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      No, you're not listening to me.  I read
                      this in the paper the other day.  Divorce
                      rates for white people are three times
                      that of blacks.  Three times.  And
                      everytime there's a divorce, we women are
                      in a position to make a killing.  Blacks
                      are way behind in social evolution from
                      us whites, and it shows in your
                      neighborhoods and your schools and your

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      We black people, as you say, have
                      families, intact families...I think
                      that's a superior state of social
                      evolution than the mess you are in.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      I'm not in any mess.  I'm getting a lap
                      pool.  Do you have a lap pool?

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      I don't want a lap pool.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      This is your problem.

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      My problem is that I have a privileged
                      white bitch with racist attitudes sitting
                      in my office.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      Oh, don't pull the race card with me.

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      I think I will call your husband and
                      inform him of your plans.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      Oh, it won't matter.  I'll just deny it.
                      And he's so gullible.  An idiot, really.

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      You hate blacks, Hispanics, and all men.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      White men.  I actually like black men.
                      Well, I'm curious.  I can't say I've ever
                      had one.

                                KENDRA SAFFRON
                      This discussion has become ridiculous and
                      I am being dragged into a conversation
                      which is not only a waste of time but an
                      outrage.  Can you please leave my office.

                                JENNY BROCK
                      OK.  OK.  I can live without the lap
                      pool.  Just...just don't call my husband.
                      You know, he doesn't even know you're
                      black.  You don't sound have
                      a very white voice, at least on the
                      telephone.  So if you call him and tell
                      him about my intent to give him the dump,
                      I'm going to tell him your black...and he
                      won't like that.  And if I remember
                      correctly, he owes you a lot of
             last count, about
                      $45,000...and he won't cut a check like
                      that to a black person.  He's really a
                      disgusting guy, very racist  A pig,
                      really.  You see why I want a divorce.
                      Forget the lap pool.  Just get the damn
                      thing built so I can move to East Hampton
                      and start my divorce.  That's all I want
                      out of life.

            Jenny gets up and leaves.  Kendra sits there, lost somewhere
            between befuddlement and anger.

                                                                THE END.

No comments:

Post a Comment