Monday, January 1, 2018

Bob At The Bar


               FELICIA sits on a couch.  She is wearing sunglasses, chewing
               gum, and listening to music from an iPod with ear buds.  She
               sort of has that hippie look dressed for the beach, possibly
               wearing flip flops.

               JANIS walks in wearing her pajamas - or possibly clothes she
               just threw on after popping out of bed.  Janis is holding her
               wallet.  She walks up to Felicia, stop and open the wallet to
               show Felicia the empty sleeve that holds cash.

                         When I went to bed last night,
                         there was seven hundred dollars of
                         cash in here.  Where is it?

               Felicia pulls out one ear bud.

                         Did you say something?

                         My money, Felicia.  What did you do
                         with it?

                         Excuse me, but I didn't touch your

                         We live alone.  We had no visitors
                         last night.  You went to bed before
                         me.  My wallet was on my night
                         table.  So that leaves you as the
                         only suspect.

                         I am really quite offended, Janis.

                         You also have motive.  You were
                         fired from your job.  You need
                         spending money.   You missed last
                         month's rent.

                         I was not fired from my job.  I
                         was...let go.

                         You were let go because they caught
                         you drinking the liquor.  That's

                         The rule was we were allowed to
                         sample the liquor in the last 30
                         minutes of our shift, OK.

                         Sample.  You thinking drinking an
                         entire bottle of their Dom Perignon
                         is sampling?

                         Who told you that?

                         If you recall, I know the night
                         manager.  That's how you got the
                         damn job.  I vouched for you,
                         Felicia.  Jesus, it's embarrassing.
                         Bob is my friend.

                         Bob fired me because I wouldn't
                         sleep with him.  Some friend.

                         OK.  OK.  We are getting off topic
                         here.  My money.

                         Actually I have cash to pay you
                         some of what I owe for last month's

               Felicia pulls out an envelope and tosses it at Janis.  Janis
               catches it.

                                   FELICIA (CONT'D)
                         There's three hundred dollars in

                         Is this supposed to be funny?
                         Suddenly you have cash after my
                         money has miraculously disappeared.

                         You should be happy I making a

                         With my own money.  Why are you
                         wearing sunglasses?

                         I can't actually go to Miami Beach,
                         so I am pretending.

                         You should be looking for a job.

                         You know what you are?  Miss
                         Should.  I should do this, I should
                         do that.  Maybe you should stop
                         being should mode.

                         By the way, Bob said you tried to
                         come onto him.

                         Really.  I am guessing you two are


                         Yeah, well, he implied that.

                         Bob and I are just friends.

                         What shade of friends?

               Janis does not answer.

                                   FELICIA (CONT'D)
                         It doesn't matter.  I'll get all
                         the details when I start working at
                         the bar next week.  Bob gave me my
                         job back.

                         He what?  He gave you...but he

               Felicia lowers her sunglasses and looks at Janis.

                         What did you say?


                         He promised.  You're the one who
                         got me fired?


                         Wow, this is like interesting.  I
                         mean it hurts.  Big time, since you
                         are almost my best friend.  But
                         nonetheless, I shall try to
                         maintain a certain calm distance
                         from this rather distressing news.

                         It is not as if you didn't know
                         that Bob and I are or...had been

                         So you get me fired because he
                         comes on to me?

                         I merely asked Bob to consider
                         letting you go since...well, he
                         told me you both did it.

                         One night.  Jeeesh.  And he wasn't
                         so great.

                         You know, that hurts.

                         There's a lot of mutual hurting
                         going on here.

               Felicia grabs her purse, she stands and walks up to Janis.
               She pulls out her wallet and then a wad of cash.  She hands
               it to Janis.

                                   FELICIA (CONT'D)
                         Here's your money.  So I had a weak

                         I don't know what to say to all

                         No more fucking Bob.  I mean me.
                         You can all you want.  I have my
                         job back.  And things have returned
                         to the way they were before.
                         There's nothing more to say.

                         I guess.

               Felicia gives a quick kiss on Janis's cheek.


               Felicia puts her shades back on, plops onto the couch.  She
               picks up her earbuds and is about to put them in, but notices
               that Janis is staring at her, somewhat blankly.

                                   FELICIA (CONT'D)

                         I can't tell if I feel better about
                         all this.

                         If you think too hard about
                         anything, it starts to...suck.

               Felisha puts her ear buds in.  Janis takes a breath and is
               resigned to the moment.

                                                               THE END.

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