LINDA and PETER walk into FRAME. They arrive home from an
evening out. Linda is noticeably anxious.
LINDA
I had such a good time tonight.
PETER
Yes. So did I.
Awkward pause.
LINDA
You have a lovely apartment.
PETER
Not when my roommates are here.
LINDA
Oh?
PETER
Yeah but no one is here now, this
weekend. They are all away.
Another awkward pause.
LINDA
Is it okay if I run to the bathroom
and freshen up.
PETER
It's down the hall to your left.
Linda leaves FRAME. Peter sits on the couch and tries to
make himself appear casual. When Linda walks back in, Peter
stiffens. Linda sits down next to him. An awkward pause
again.
LINDA
You know, you invited me up to your
apartment, and that is quite nice
of you, but...
PETER
Oh, there's no pressure for us to
do anything.
LINDA
Well, I'm a little nervous.
PETER
Really, I am very... harmless. We
can just talk if you'd like.
LINDA
No. I don't want to talk. I
really don't want to be a wimp
about this. I have to... I have
to...
PETER
Yes?
LINDA
OK. OK. Listen, I want to get
through the first step. You know,
you have to take the first step.
So I will close my eyes and I want
you to kiss me. On the lips.
Nothing too elaborate. OK?
PETER
OK.
LINDA
And then... well, here goes.
Linda faces Peter with her eyes closed. Peter moves in for a
kiss. As Peter gets close, Linda falls out of FRAME. Linda
is totally unconscious on the couch. Peter goes wide eyed,
trying to wrap his head around what he is seeing.
PETER
Linda?
Peter touches Linda on the shoulder. Suddenly Linda wakes
up.
LINDA
Oh rats... did I just... how long
was I out?
PETER
Ah...
LINDA
Probably not long, right? I mean
otherwise you would have called an
ambulance. But I see you are still
on the couch. So look I have a
little problem. I fall asleep at
random moments, usually when I am
nervous. It's called narcolepsy.
It can be a real bummer.
Like right now. I mean I don't
want it to interfere with our
evening.
PETER
OK. I've never known anyone...
LINDA
Let's not talk about it. If I talk
about it, it will make me angry.
PETER
Do you have pills...
LINDA
Everyone wants to know if I have
pills. Of course I have pills.
But they don't work. And I ran out
anyway.
PETER
Coffee. I can make you a strong
cup of coffee.
LINDA
You see, people think coffee will
keep me awake. Coffee doesn't
work. The pills don't work.
Shit... this is going to be a lousy
night. I am like the worst
possible date you could have.
PETER
No. No. You are great. You have
a little problem. We all have
problems.
Linda is getting near tears.
LINDA
I feel so alone sometimes.
PETER
Please don't.
LINDA
Oh shit... oh shit.
Linda looks at Peter.
LINDA (CONT'D)
Sorry...
Linda falls back fast asleep again. Peter does not know what
to do. A long moment. Linda awakes. She sits up and takes
a deep breath, like she is trying to summon a zen state. She
turns and looks at Peter. She grabs him and gives him a huge
and somewhat long kiss. She pulls away gently. Peter is
stunned.
LINDA (CONT'D)
Wow. That was great.
Peter falls back onto the couch, unconscious.
LINDA (CONT'D)
Peter? Peter?
Linda shakes Peter. Peter opens his eyes. He smiles.
PETER
I was just kidding.
Linda does not know how to react.
PETER (CONT'D)
I just don't want you to feel
alone.
Peter's remark hits Linda in a soft spot, and she almost
starts to cry again.
LINDA
Why don't we take our clothes off
and get right to it then. That
way, after... we can sleep
together.
CUT TO BLACK.
THE END.
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