Pamela Anderson Meets Nicole Ritchie In The Health Club Shower Room

Pamela Anderson stepped out of the shower at the health club in Santa Monica, California. It was almost midnight, and Pamela started to make it a habit to come to the health club in the evening rather than do the party thing. Pamela's new marriage to Kid Rock re-inspired her to get the body in shape. She was turning forty next year, and this milestone was sitting on the horizon like a looming set of double doors with a butler welcoming her to old age. The thought of "old age," of being elderly, was a thought she had only when she focused on her liver. Pamela had struggled for many years with the hepatitis C virus she got from sharing a tattoo needle with her former husband Tommy Lee who apparently never told her that he had the dreaded liver virus. The virus had ravaged Pamela's liver for over a year and a half, but her many medical treatments had seemed to get the virus under control, though Pamela knew it could reveal itself again at anytime. It was the hepatitis C virus that first gave Pamela a glimpse of "old age," of death, and she worked hard to distract herself from these thoughts. Her many breast enlargement surgeries and re-arrangements had been her primary distraction.
As she stood by herself late at night at the Santa Monica health club with a white towel in her right hand, she faced the floor-to-ceiling mirror and examined her naked body. It was very tan, a tan more pronounced from the stark tan lines formed by the very skimpy bikinis she routinely wore. Her breasts heaved forward, unnaturally to anyone's eye, but to Pamela they were a thing of youth and beauty. Pamela's very round honey-dew-melon-sized glands were supported entirely by the latest technological implants medicine could muster. They were bulbous and bursting as if someone had blown them up like balloons, one more blow would make them explode. To many, Pamela's breasts were more disgusting and an oddity than a thing of female beauty, but to Pamela they translated into adoration and money. Pamela couldn't act. Pamela did not have any employable skills. All she had was her body. Pamela had been told she was beautiful and her body was nearly perfect, but the early-in-her-life breast surgeries had forced Pamela to return to the plastic surgeon time and time again to re-jigger the aging and sagging bags of flesh, and with each time, the breasts were stuffed with larger and larger implants. But hell, so what, she still looked great for being just shy of forty years old.
As Pamela held her white towel in her right hand, dangling to her side, she examined her five foot seven inch frame, the muscles, the shapely hips, the long blond hair, the biceps and strong legs. She was a thing of beauty. Yeah, OK, so the breasts were more a matter of medical science than hard work at the health club, but Pamela's mission was to beef up her muscles to balance out the weighty mammary glands that sometimes looked like they dragged Pamela down. It bothered Pamela that she no longer could sleep on her stomach because of her breasts. In fact, she had trouble sleeping on her side. She had to sleep on her back, which, according to Kid Rock, caused her to snore at night with her mouth open. Tommy Lee never told her that, which is probably because Tommy Lee was out cold from all the drinking and drugs. But Kid Rock apparently loved her enough to watch her sleep, even though it horrified Pamela that the beautiful Pamela Anderson snored.
At that moment, Nicole Ritchie walked in, stark naked, holding a towel, ready to take a shower. Nicole was barely more than a skeleton, weighing in at a mere 83 pounds, a number Nicole just read off the scale in the health club. It was a goal of Nicole Ritchie to get down to 80 pounds, and she had a big smile on her face as she walked up to Pamela Anderson, facing the floor-to-ceiling mirror, holding her towel in her left hand. Nicole looked at herself in the mirror as she stood to Pamela's left. Pamela looked at Nicole's naked body in the mirror. Both of them standing in the nude, examining each other in the mirror, alone in the Santa Monica health club shower room.
"I didn't know you belonged to this club," said Pamela.
"I don't. I have a guest pass. I am trying out a few weights," said Nicole.

Pamela Anderson glanced at Nicole Ritchie's naked body. Nicole was holding the health club white towel in her left hand. It almost appeared as if the towel had more weight and substance than Nicole. To Pamela, Nicole appeared like a skeleton dangling from a medical school classroom. The only difference between the skeleton and Nicole was that the skeleton is not inherently disgusting. Nicole Ritchie's body, if that is what you could call it, was so wasted, it was as if someone had spray painted her muscles on, and then spray painted again Nicole’s skin. There was virtually no meat on Nicole Ritchie. The only thing preventing Nicole from getting thinner were the actually bones themselves. Pamela wondered how Nicole could even stand, or her heart pump. There was no room for any internal organs. At that moment Pamela noticed that the veins in Nicole's neck were filling with blood and then disappearing, and then filling again and then disappearing. Nicole's inner circulatory system was clearly visible through silk-thin skin. There was no muscle, Pamela concluded, but for the working heart muscle, which Pamela was certain would not survive Nicole Ritchie's sick starvation diet. She gave Nicole maybe a few months unles she got some kind of intervention. Does anyone love this poor thing?
"Did you say you were doing weights?" asked Pamela.
"Yeah," said Nicole, whose left leg buckled briefly, causing Nicole to almost stumble. But Nicole was able to recover using the few hidden inner muscles or bones to right herself.
Nicole Ritchie lifting weights, thought Pamela, was not possible. Nicole could hardly hold the bath towel.
"Weights, huh. Like what are you lifting?" asked Pamela.
"Oh god, I'm not lifting them. I just look at them," said Nicole as she kept examining herself in the mirror, with this haunting smile, almost dreamlike, the kind of smile you might see on a person who had accepted death and was about to shut their eyes and say goodbye.
Nicole just looks at the weights. Did Pamela Anderson hear that correctly? Wasn't there anyone at the health club to help this poor sick thing? Nicole was no longer a human female. In fact, Nicole Ritchie had no breasts, no distinguishing characteristics or body parts that would indicate sex or even species at this point. Nicole Ritchie was a specimen for an anthropologist dusting off bones in the desert. Pamela had remembered the cute little Nicole standing next to the Paris Hilton on that TV show back when Nicole was the pudgy one. She was adorable then. Now Nicole Ritchie was harder to look at than the Elephant Man or Michael Jackson. Pamela decided to suggest a late-night snack, but she would tread gingerly.
"You want to go to a Starbucks, Nicole? There's one right around the corner," said Pamela.
"Oh, no. No. I 'm going to take a shower. I need to take a shower and clean off the sweat I have built up. I smell. I have this odor. Sweat odor," said Nicole in her dream-like state.
Yeah, she had an odor alright, a sickly odor of death, as if the bacteria in what was left of Nicole's intestines had already started feeding on her innards as death meat. At some point soon Nicole would blow up into a death gas ball caused by the chewing bacteria inside her.
"I have to go. Take care of yourself, Nicole. Take care of yourself," said Pamela Anderson as she turned and walked out of the shower.
Nicole Anderson did not say goodbye; she did not say anything. But Nicole did drag herself to the shower and struggled to turn the shower knob on. But the force to turn the shower on was too great for her. So Nicole Ritchie just stood in the open shower stall standing under the drip of water that occurred every few seconds from the shower head. But given Nicole Ritchie's bony existence, that was all that was necessary. At least that is what Nicole thought as she smiled and licked the shower water off her lips, one drip at a time.

Jessica Simpson Chooses Islam Over Kate Moss

Jessica Simpson stood at the window of the one of the largest public relations firms in the world that specialized in celebrities. It was the forty-fourth floor facing north, and Jessica could see Central Park in Manhattan over the tops of the residential buildings lining Central Park South. Jessica was wearing a conservative dress, cut just above the knees with pumps. The dress was modest. And everything was black except for the white pearl necklace and pearl studs in her ear lobes. He hair was pulled back in a pony tail, and her face was glistening clean, her skin as smooth as a baby. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she was favoring her left leg, her right knee very slightly bent.
Behind Jessica sat Harvey. Harvey was fat, maybe about 270 pounds, and it was mostly soft flabby fat, not football or muscle fat. Even though the air conditioning was blaring on this hot summer day, Harvey was sweating. In fact, Harvey was always sweating, as if his body was trying to cool off in the heavy coat of adipose that covered it from his neck to his toes.
"I just don't understand it," said Jessica.
"She is interesting, Jessica, because she is bad," said Harvey.
"She's a drug addict, a sloppy slut that hangs out with drug addicts. She is unhealthy. She's constantly smoking. Frankly, I think she is disgusting," said Jessica.
"And yet she has multi-million dollar modeling contracts," said Harvey.
"I'm doing OK," said Jessica.
"People think you are stupid. People do not respect you like they respect Kate Moss," said Harvey.
"They don't respect Kate Moss," said Jessica.
"She has weight because she is bad. You have no weight because you are good. With weight comes respect," said Harvey.
"So how do I get weight?" asked Jessica.
"Well, you are not going to Harvard to get a degree. You do not compose music. You are not a published author. So the only thing left is for you to be bad. In some way. To be bad in some way," said Harvey.
"Forget it," said Jessica.
"You came to me for a consultation. This is my business. I now how the public thinks. They want celebrities that are both strong and weak, but somehow survive and still look good. The public thinks this is character, that it gives character. They want the scars to be there, and yet they want you to survive," said Harvey.
"Can I get scars without being bad. I mean not real scars. The symbolic ones you are referring to," said Jessica.
"How about a photo shoot that shows a possible bad side without you really being bad," said Harvey.
"I am not doing pornography," said Jessica.
"No porn. But something else. Something with weight,' said Harvey.
"Something with style," said Jessica.
"Maybe a photo shoot with American Marines. You dressed with class, not slutty. And the Marines dressed in full uniform,' aid Harvey.
"That sounds good," said Jessica as she turned to face the fat Harvey.
"I'll make some calls," said Harvey.
"But it would have to be real Marines. Not actors," said Jessica.
"Of course. Otherwise it wouldn't have weight," said Harvey.
“I’ll wear an American flag,” said Jessica.
“Madonna already did that,” said Harvey.
“I’ll wear red, white and blue colors,” said Jessica.
“Christina Aguilera just did that, along with like forty other people. Why don’t you wear the Iraqi flag, and then also dress like a Muslim woman,” said Harvey.
“What? In one of those sheets?” asked Christina.
“It would be controversial, which adds weight. Plus, you would show how a woman can be sexy in one of those headscarves, a hijab,” said Harvey.
“I wear scarves,” said Jessica.
“It’s more than a scraf. It wraps around your neck and can go down your shoulders. Maybe we can bang off a few shots with you just wearing a hijab,” said Harvey.
“If it’s not pornographic,” said Jessica.
“We would not show anything. That’s the point,” said Harvey.
“People might hate me,” said Jessica.
“The more hate you get from one sector, the more love you will get from another. And you will not apologize to anyone. That is weight,” said Harvey.
“Okie dokie,” said Jessica.
As the word weight came out of fat Harvey's fat lips, Jessica could only think that she was taking advise from someone nearly as disgusting as Kate Moss. But then, this was not her business. The advice sounded good. And that is what she wanted to remain: good.

Jessica Simpson Accepts Being Worthless

Jessica Simpson sat on a couch. The lights were set low, and there were several fat candles flickering yellow light in the room that was painted and dressed in earth tones. Some kind of new age music was playing softly. Jessica could not make out any discernible melody, but it did feel comforting, sort of. Jessica's left leg was draped over her right knee and she was air tapping her left foot that was holding a black high heel. Her black skirt was cut short, and her blue tank top was a tad too tight. Her palms were placed on the couch on either side of her thighs, and her blond hair was pulled back in a pony tail.
"You have come to talk about the same issue again?" asked Dr. Brimo.
"Yes," said Jessica.
"Go on," said Dr. Brimo.
"Well, it's the same thing. You know," said Jessica.
"Jessica, you must articulate your feelings," said Dr. Brimo.
"You're going to make me say it. OK. OK. I feel…I feel like I am worthless," said Jessica.
"Worthless. This is a word you have not used before," said Dr. Brimo.
"I mean, think about it. What do I do? Am I creative? Am I an artist? What am I?" asked Jessica.
'I cannot answer that. But clearly society has deemed you worthy of something. Your income would suggest that," said Dr. Brimo.
"Yes. Yes," said Jessica.
"What was your income in calendar year 2005?" asked Dr. Brimo.
"Oh, god. I don't know. Maybe -- I don't really know," said Jessica.
"You must have some idea. Did you buy any real estate in 2005?" asked Dr. Brimo.
"Yeah. How did you know? I bought a house in Pacific Palisades, and one in Hawaii. The one in Hawaii is really nice. Right on the ocean with a beach. There are like a bunch of palm trees on the beach. Very private," said Jessica.
"OK. This suggests to me that you earned a good income last year," said Dr. Brimo.
"This year, in 2006, I bought an apartment in London and a small condo in Manhattan," said Jessica.
"So we can infer from this that you are doing well," said Dr. Brimo.
"Yeah. I think I made like a little over thirty million in 2005," said Jessica.
"That much. Jeeez. I mean, well, that is a large amount of money," said Dr. Brimo. The doctor was surprised by the size of the income.
"How did you earn this money?" asked Dr. Brimo as he cleared his throat.
"That's the thing. I don't really know. I mean I do music, I do concerts, I act a little. I am in all the magazines like on a daily basis. God knows why. And I make a lot of money. So this should make me happy, right? But I feel worthless," said Jessica.
Dr. Brimo re-adjusted himself in the large upholstered chair as he continued to absorb the fact that this young woman with little or no talent was raking in thirty mil a year.
"You must be very talented, Jessica, if you are making that kind of money. Your feeling of worthlessness must be coming from some childhood experience, perhaps. Not from any lack of talent today," said Dr. Brimo.
Brimo was still grapling with the talent-free high-income connection. Thirty mill because she has a nice body, can sing at a high school prom, and has a pleasing face? Is that all it takes?
“So again, you must be talented. The money represents that,” said Dr. Brimo.
"You think?" asked Jessica.
"But I think that you need to see me more often. Maybe twice a week. Your feelings of worthlessness can grow worse to the point of, well, I don't want to use the word, but worthless notions can lead to suicide," said Dr. Brimo.
"Oh no. I would never do that. But I travel around too much to see you twice a week," said Jessica.
"You will need to put me on the payroll, and I shall come to wherever you might be. I would be willing to be picked up by a car service and fly like on one of those Net Jets, and visit you wherever that might be. These are the sacrifices I will make for you," said Dr. Brimo.
"Geeee, thanks. OK. So are we done today," said Jessica.
"Yes," said Dr. Brimo.
Jessica stands and pulls down her short skirt which had ridden up her legs as she was sitting.
"So thanks again. I feel better already," said Jessica.
"And you should know that you feel better not because of your income, but because of what we talked about," said Dr. Brimo.
"Of course. I got to run. I am doing a talk show today,” said Jessica.
“Really. Talk about what?” asked Dr. Brimo.
“I don't know, talk. Just talk stuff. You know what I mean," said Jessica.
"Yes. I know what you mean," said Dr. Brimo.
"Toodles," said Jessica as she turned and left through the large polished oak door. Dr. Brimo closed his note pad which contained absolutely no notes.

A Letter From Osama Bin Laden

My name is Osama bin Laden.  You have heard of much of me in recent months, and your President and your news media has successfully demonized me in your eyes.  I am hear to tell you that I am no demon, and that I am not the “evildoer” that you so wish to believe.  First, let me clear up a few simple facts.  I am most definitely responsible for financing, planning and approving the airplane attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.  September 11th, 2001 changed the United States and the World, and this is something in which I feel great pride.  Yes, I know many people died.  You call them innocents.  I make no such distinctions.  Humans are humans, whether they spread the cultural hegemony of the West with a rifle on their shoulder or a can of Coca Cola in their hand, they are all game in my quest to rid the world of them.  Indeed, I believe the can of Coca Cola is more dangerous than the gun.  You call me evil.  I do not recognize myself as evil.  And if evil has no such self-recognition, can such a person truly be evil?  I believe to the fleshy core of my soul that I am doing good, that I spread the works of God and will contribute to making this great earth of ours a planet where Islam can flourish and give people the peace, strength, self-joy and contentment that it has me and many other millions.  Islam is a great and grand religion, but there are many who claim that Islam can be and should “modernized.”  I do not believe in this thing called modernization.  Modernization and pluralism is a corruption of the Koran and the Islamic life.  I have no goal to rid the earth of non-Islamics.  I can live on this planet with people who do not follow the Islamic life.  But these people must remain on their own land.  The earth is split between holy Islamic land and non-Islamic land.  Islam is pure and for a man and his women to achieve the purity of Islam in their lives, they must not be poisoned by the false notion of pluralism and materialism and all the Western ideas that have become a cancer on much of the earth.  I am currently under siege.  I am on the move.  My body will probably die soon, but my soul will go immediately to heaven where I will be rewarded for the deeds I have done.  You can kill me….you can kill my infra-structure and my organization, but this means nothing.  There are thousands upon thousands of Islamics schools around the globe that teach pure Isalm, teaching that to rid all lands of impure-Islamics and Westerners is a duty that they must all oblige themselves.  It is their life work.  You cannot fight this.  America is proud of its freedom of religion.  Well, it are those freedoms that permit us to raise a generation of pure-Islamics.  You cannot stop this.  You will fail, in the end.  Killing me will gratify you, and you will again grow lazy and again you will bend to the will of those who insist upon civil rights and constitutional freedoms.  A little quiet gives us more time for more teaching.  And you will even dismiss this missive that I write as some kind of last desperate plea by a man who mad or evil or desperate.  Little do you know that I am very content, very happy.  I have started something.  I have changed the world.  I am the first domino that has fallen.  Pure Islam will survive, it will prosper, it will spread, and there is nothing you can do about it.  God is great, and he is with us.  The Koran says so.  That is all I need.  Enjoy your televisions and sports utility vehicles and cheap gasoline and large homes and backyards and children’s toys while you can…it is a false joy, an empty joy.  I have little or nothing.  Sure you say I am aq multi-millionaire.  In truth, I have access to much wealth…but I use that wealth to do the work of Islam, not to fatten my closet with stuff.  You are into stuff.  I am into God’s work.  I think that sums it up.  I think that indicates who will win in the end.  I pity you as you laugh at my death.  But do I feel sorry for you?  No.  We kill a cancer.  We do not show it sympathy.  Good bye, and from on high, I shall look down on all of you in hell.

Sienna Miller Studies Kate Moss To Play Edie Sedgwick

It was 2:07 AM Sunday morning in June on one of the club-heavy blocks of 21st Street in Manhattan. The interior design was done in a cheap middle-eastern theme, the cut corners in money spent was hidden by the dim light. There were about sixty people dancing and drinking, lying on couches, passed out on cushy chairs, smoking tobacco and lots of other agricultural products, and eating the constant service of Ritz crackers with cream cheese and red caviar. The four bartenders were women, young, maybe not even of drinking age yet, and all dressed casually but smartly. Two blonds, one brunette and one red head.
"Did Kate Moss just walk in?" said the red head.
"Yeah. She's friends with Sienna Miller," said the blond.
The riot of noise, the bustle of bodies and the chemicals in the arteries were enough to keep Kate Moss from being noticed by all except the two alert bartenders.
Kate Moss was wearing her usual large sunglasses and was dressed as if she just spent a night under the Brooklyn Bridge with some winos. But then, this was one of the Kate Moss looks and so the bartenders did not take notice of the fact that Kate was strung out. She was on her ninety-second cigarette of the day and she walked briskly through the crowd and touched the shoulder of Sienna Miller as she passed. Sienna turned and saw Kate glance back at her as Kate walked into one of the bathrooms in the back of the club.
"I need to go to the bathroom," said Sienna Miller to Jude Law who was holding a bottle of champagne and had been talking to a friend that no one seemed to know the name of.
"Sure," said Jude Law.
Sienna Miller was wearing a black short skirt and white blouse with socks and hiking boots, which made Sienna's legs seem even longer than they were. It was a combined upscale-downscale look, as if she were getting out of a limo to walk a mountain trail.
Sienna walked straight into the bathroom after she asked one of the body guards to keep others out.
She found Kate Moss with her butt leaning on the black marble sink counter, her legs crossed, smoking and very fidgety.
"So glad you came," said Sienna.
"Look, I'm sorry, but I don't really have the stuff," said Kate.
Sienna noticed that Kate's hair was matted, greasy and disheveled. There was a small spot of blood on Kate's left arm. It was just the look Sienna had gone for when she played Edie Sedgwick in the feature film Factory Girl which was currently in post production.
"Do you have a cigarette. I need a cigarette," said Kate Moss.
"Kate, you're smoking a cigarette already," said Sienna.
"Oh. Yeah," said Kate. Kate then throws the cigarette down on the floor.
"I want another one. OK. Is that OK with you," said Kate.
Wow. This was exciting. Kate Moss’s nervous and brain-drowned behavior was always an inspiration for playing a drugged out, fucked up girl, which is what Edie Sedgwick was, bottom line. Yeah, Edie was rich, but money did not really make a difference when smack was flowing in the veins.
"Sure, you can have a cigarette," said Sienna. Sienna pulled out a pack of American Spirit cigarettes and was about to pull out one when Kate Moss grabbed the whole pack, pulled two out, lit both of them with a Bic lighter and handed one back to Sienna.
"Thanks," said Sienna as she took the cigarette and took a puff.
"I said I was sorry. OK?" said Kate.
"OK. OK. So you didn't bring the stuff," said Sienna.
"No. No. I did. I did bring it. I just--I just did it myself, OK. You got that. I did it myself," said Kate.
"All of it?" asked Sienna.
At that moment Kate Moss seemed to turn to rubber, her legs buckled and she fell to the floor, slowly, but she fell just the same, somewhat breaking her fall with the bony arms and splinter hands and wrists.
Sienna watched this as if a spectator. It was almost a beautiful thing to watch as Kate Moss collapsed like the Wicked Witch of the West. But then it struck Sienna Miller that Kate Moss was unconscious.

Sienna Miller kneeled down with an American Spirit cigarette in her mouth and pulled the lit cigarette out of Kate Moss's open mouth. Kate Moss was lying on the tiled floor of the club's bathroom, her legs out straight, on her back with her head turned to the side. Moss's eyelids were partially open. Sienna thought that Kate must sleep with her eyes like that. Sienna touched the dried bloody spot on Kate Moss's left arm. It was over a major vein in an area with suspicious scars. The small shoulder bag that Kate Moss had brought in with her was lying to Kate Moss's right side. It was brown leather, with a fat zipper that ran along the top. The zipper was open. Sienna cupped her right thumb under the zipper and peaked into the bag. There were lose cigarettes in the bag as well as a plastic bag of white powder.
So, Kate Moss did not do it all. She had some left. Kate just did not know how to control her drug use. Sienna learned about uncontrollable drug use when she played Edie Sedgwick in the film role of a lifetime. The film, Factory Girl, was in post production, and it was a wild shoot. To play Edie Sedgwick, Sienna Miller decided to do a little research. But it was difficult to dig into Edie Sedgwick's character because everything there was to know about her was all covered, under the flowing liquid of drugs and booze and the dark haze of tobacco smoke. So, Sienna thought, the best way to be Edie Sedgwick was to do as Edie Sedgwick did. And it was Kate Moss that obliged. Good old Kate Moss. She helped Sienna get into acting mode with a good supply of all the drugs that Edie had done. And Sienna Miller took a cue from Nicholas Cage when he played that drunk character in Leaving Las Vegas. Nicholas actually got drunk while playing the part, and won an Academy Award for it (getting an Oscar for drinking heavily !). So Sienna would do drugs when she played Edie Sedgwick. No one knew. Or at least Sienna believed she successfully hid her drug use during filming; running to her trailer, or actually at times stumbling to her trailer, was an indication to everyone that she was 'in character,' not that she was hiding anything. And Sienna thought that she would try it once more tonight for old times sake by inviting Kate Moss to Jude Law's little Manhattan party. Kate was in town and the girls spoke on their cell phones about shooting up in the bathroom. Guess they weren't going to shoot up together with Kate Moss lying on the tiled bathroom floor unconscious.
Suddenly it occurred to Sienna that she should check Kate's pulse. Sienna never did this before, checking a pulse, that is. Sienna's pulse though was racing as she grabbed Kate's limp wrist and searched for activity. Damn. This is not good. This would not be good for the career, to be caught with a dead Kate Moss in a Manhattan club bathroom with a bag of heroin. Sienna smacked Kate in the face. Bingo. Kate Moss stirred. She opened her eyes and saw Sienna with the plastic bag of heroin in her hand. She popped up. And grabbed the plastic bag out of Sienna's hand. Kate stood, supporting herself by holding the black marble sink counter. Sienna stood.
"You were going to steal this," said Kate Moss as she held up the bag of heroin.
"No. No," said Sienna.
"Yes. Yes," said Kate.
"You OK?" asked Sienna.
"I need a cigarette," said Kate.
"Sure. Sure," said Sienna. The pack of American Spirit cigarettes was on the floor next to Kate's leather bag and the Bic lighter. Sienna picked up the pack, the lighter and the bag and handed all to Kate. Kate Moss took out a cigarette, lit it, sucked a third of the cigarette down and let out a large plume of smoke.
"I feel better," said Kate Moss.
Sienna imagined that Kate Moss at this moment in the bathroom is how Edie Sedgwick must have appeared during her final days before dying in her sleep. Edie and Kate, both of their bodies exhausted from abuse, but their beauty and appeal kept them disconnected from how they were racing for the grave. Sienna Miller, though, was going to be smarter than that. She might use drugs and smoke like a chimney, but she would not let herself drift into oblivion like Edie Sedgwick had done and like Kate Moss appeared to be doing.
"You look better," said Sienna.
"Thanks," said Kate Moss. "Thanks."
Kate took another deep drag on her cigarette. Sienna took the pack of American Spirits out of Kate's hand and placed a cigarette in her mouth. Kate flicked the Bic and lit Sienna's cigarette. Sienna also took a deep drag. Sienna and Kate each let out plumes of smoke into the bathroom. Sienna looked into the mirror and was relieved to see that she looked great. Poor Kate Moss. “Kate Moss” would never happen to Sienna Miller.

A Lebanese Girl And An Israeli Girl Write Their Names On Rockets

Suukee was eleven years old, the daughter of a Lebanese fisherman. She wore black linen pants, a beige linen shirt and leather sandals and had a black scarf wrapped around her long black hair. Suukee's linen came from flax grown in northern Spain, fabricated in Ireland, and exported to Beirut where it was sewn into garments. The leather in Suukee's sandals came from a steer born in Texas, whose hide was cut and exported to Bucherest, Romania where it was fashioned into sandals, which were then exported to Beirut. Suukee held a blue Sharpie nontoxic permanent felt tip marker in her right hand. The Sharpie marker was made by the Sanford Corporation of Bellwood, Illinois. The blue ink in the marker was manufactured in Brazil where it was trucked to Caracas and soaked with the felt-tips of the pens, packed and inserted into plastic blanks, packaged and loaded on a container ship where it was shipped to Southampton, England where it was exported to Beirut.
Suukee was standing next to a Katyusha rocket that was leaning against a cinderblock wall in an alley of the seaside town of Sidon in Southern Lebanon. The steel of the Katyusha was manufactured in Russia, sold to China where it was shipped to North Korea where the rocket was shaped and shipped back to Russia where it was armed. She wrote her name 'Suukee' on the tip of the Katyusha rocket. A Shiite man standing next to the rocket smiled. Suukee smiled back. The Shiite man picked up the rocket with the assistance of two other Shiite men, each a member of Hezbollah, and loaded the rocket onto the back of a 2003 green Ford F-150 pickup truck, a truck designed in Deaborn, Michigan and assembled from parts manufactured in Asia and the United States. As the Ford truck pulled away, it kicked up dust from the stone pavement which landed partly on Suukee's face. The stone came from an old mine in the Golan Heights. Suukee rubbed her eyes, and then picked up the white and blue soccer ball manufactured by Adidas in Indonesia. She walked with the soccer ball to a small courtyard.
Rachel was eleven years old, the daughter of an Israeli fisherman. She wore a pair of Joe's Jeans which were manufactured in Hong Kong and exported to New York where they were distributed to Tel Aviv. Rachel was wearing sandals that were given to her by her uncle who purchased them in Beirut when he was on a business trip. Rachel's white t-shirt had a photograph of Madonna on it. Rachel was wearing a baseball cap with the Brazil national soccer team's insignia embroidered on the front. She held a blue Sharpie nontoxic permanent felt tip marker in her right hand.
Rachel was standing next to a Jericho missile, which was entirely manufactured in the United States, but retro-fitted in Israel. The Jericho missile was supported horizontally by a trailer on wheels and there was a buzz of activity to prepare the missile to be brought to an Israeli submarine to get in on board so the submarine could pull out of Haifa's naval marina as soon as possible. Rachel wrote her name on the tip of the Jericho missile with the blue Sharpie felt-tip pen. Several Israeli Navy officers smiled at Rachel, but urged her to move away so they could start hauling the missile down the ramp to the submarine. Rachel picked up her red Lands’ End backpack which contained several books and her burgundy leather-bound diary which was exported from New York by Graphic Image. She walked up a hill in Haifa to one of the several Haifa libraries.
An Israeli jet dropped a bomb on the courtyard in the seaside town of Sidon where Suukee was kicking her Adidas soccer ball.
Sukkee's Katyusha rocket landed on the library in the town of Haifa where Rachel was writing in her burgundy leather-bound diary with a blue Bic pen manufactured by Biro of France.
Suukee and Rachel died within minutes of each other on Sunday morning in the heat of the July sun. The sky was clear, except for the smoke and dust that rose from the blast caused by the rockets. The Israeli submarine made it to safe waters carrying the Jericho missile.

Lindsay Lohan And Her Mother Smoking Cigarettes In Their Underwear

Lindsay Lohan sat in her underwear in Bungalow 11 at the Chateau Marmont. The undergarments were white, and one bra strap was off her shoulder. She had not showered in the last 24 hours. Lindsay was on her fourth Marlboro Light cigarette and it was only 9:45 in the morning. She had awoken at 7:33, which was typical for her since the night was spent largely drinking champagne and wine at three different clubs in west Los Angeles. This is not to mention the pack and a half of cigarettes she smoked plus the one joint. Lindsay did not have a headache, but she felt woozy and tired. Not the kind of 'tired' that permits sleep; the kind that represents a weary body, one whose chemistry has been taxed. Though she knew on some level that the Marlboros she was sucking on this morning were not helping, she had also convinced herself that the nicotine might shore up her body and get her feeling normal again.
Lindsay was glad that she did not have to go to the Georgia Rule movie set today. She just could not deal with the pressure of the crew, the director, the producers, the actors, and the fact that everyone was watching her, seeing if she could deliver a good performance notwithstanding the hard partying. So far so good, Lindsay thought. Everyday she gave them what they wanted. She felt it. It felt good. But it was also hard at times, and she needed to relax at night to clear out her system. Well, OK, maybe not clear out her system, but fill her system with alcohol, tobacco and marijuana. The nights altered her mood and revived her spirit while she was partying. It felt so good during the night even though the mornings were like having your brain soaked in maple syrup.
Lindsay hung her head low while she sat on the edge of the bed. Her breasts felt heavy. In fact, everything felt heavy. The alcohol bloated her in the morning, forcing her to starve all day to get back that weightless feeling she so craved. She looked down and saw three cigarette butts she had dropped on the floor. Jeez, had she just dropped them on the floor like that? How irresponsible. Lindsay smiled and then rubbed her head.
Dina Lohan, Lindsay's mother, walked out of the bathroom. Dina was also wearing white undergarments. Like mother, like daughter. Dina had a pink towel in her hand with the Chateau Marmont logo embroidered on each end. Dina was drying her hair from the shower she just took.
"You OK?" asked Dina of her daughter.


"Lindsay, I am talking to you. Are you OK?" asked Dina of her daughter, Lindsay Lohan.
"What? I'm sorry. What did you say?" said Lindsay as she put a cigarette in her mouth and sucked hard and deep.
"I said are you OK?" said Dina.
"Yeah. Why?" said Lindsay.
"Because you don't look well," said Dina.
"I'm fine," said Lindsay.
"You should not be smoking this early," said Dina.
"Leave me alone, Mom," said Lindsay.
Dina reaches over to Lindsay and pulls the Marlboro Light cigarette out of Lindsay's mouth.
"What the—" said Lindsay.
Dina places the cigarette in her own mouth and sucks the smoke into her own lungs.
"I'm sharing," said Dina.
"I don't need your shit right now, Mom," said Lindsay.
"My shit? I'm trying to connect," said Dina.
Lindsay reached down into the small cocktail purse on the floor and pulled out a crushed pack of Marlboros. There was one bent cigarette remaining, which she removed and placed in her mouth. Lindsay had a Bic lighter permanently attached to her left hand, which she used to light the bent cigarette.
"So the Brits dropped your record deal. And now we are being sued by these other vulture-bastards. Sorry about the deposition you have to go to," said Dina.
"I'm not going. I can't deal with that right now. Is the air conditioning working? It's fucking hot in here," said Lindsay as she totally removed her bra to air out her breasts. Lindsay through the bra down onto the floor next to her cigarette butts.
"It's working. It is just like, what, 105 outside," said Dina.
"Do you have those sleeping pills?" asked Lindsay.
"Yeah. But you should get up and move around. Get some exercise," said Dina as she continued to puff on the cigarette she pulled out of her daughter's mouth.
"Mom, would you stop with the lectures already. I just need to sleep. I can sleep today," said Lindsay.
"And so what are you going to do tonight, party again?" asked Dina.
"Jesus. You don't stop, do you. I thought you were on my side," said Lindsay.
"I am on your side. But I just think that staying up all night doing what you do, and then taking sleeping pills so you can sleep through the day so you can stay up all night again is not good for your health," said Dina.
"Like you know anything about what's good for my health," said Lindsay. Lindsay flicked her half-smoked cigarette at her mother which missed her by inches.
"Hey. What did you do that for?" said Dina.
"I'm just joking. Get me those sleeping pills. Now, Mom," said Lindsay.
Lindsay lied back on the bed, her bare legs dangling off the end. As she fell back, her ample breasts flopped around and settled to her sides. Dina was about to search for the sleeping pills when she noticed that Lindsay's mouth was open. Lindsay was fast asleep and snoring quite loudly. Lindsay had always snored, ever since she was a child, but the snoring had gotten louder in the last few years. It didn’t matter. Better snoring than drinking and smoking joints. Good, thought Dina. Her daughter will sleep naturally, without the aid of drugs. Dina smiled. Lindsay Lohan would have a healthy day.