Saturday, July 16, 2005

Jessica Simpson Accepts Being Worthless

Jessica Simpson sat on a couch. The lights were set low, and there were several fat candles flickering yellow light in the room that was painted and dressed in earth tones. Some kind of new age music was playing softly. Jessica could not make out any discernible melody, but it did feel comforting, sort of. Jessica's left leg was draped over her right knee and she was air tapping her left foot that was holding a black high heel. Her black skirt was cut short, and her blue tank top was a tad too tight. Her palms were placed on the couch on either side of her thighs, and her blond hair was pulled back in a pony tail.
"You have come to talk about the same issue again?" asked Dr. Brimo.
"Yes," said Jessica.
"Go on," said Dr. Brimo.
"Well, it's the same thing. You know," said Jessica.
"Jessica, you must articulate your feelings," said Dr. Brimo.
"You're going to make me say it. OK. OK. I feel…I feel like I am worthless," said Jessica.
"Worthless. This is a word you have not used before," said Dr. Brimo.
"I mean, think about it. What do I do? Am I creative? Am I an artist? What am I?" asked Jessica.
'I cannot answer that. But clearly society has deemed you worthy of something. Your income would suggest that," said Dr. Brimo.
"Yes. Yes," said Jessica.
"What was your income in calendar year 2005?" asked Dr. Brimo.
"Oh, god. I don't know. Maybe -- I don't really know," said Jessica.
"You must have some idea. Did you buy any real estate in 2005?" asked Dr. Brimo.
"Yeah. How did you know? I bought a house in Pacific Palisades, and one in Hawaii. The one in Hawaii is really nice. Right on the ocean with a beach. There are like a bunch of palm trees on the beach. Very private," said Jessica.
"OK. This suggests to me that you earned a good income last year," said Dr. Brimo.
"This year, in 2006, I bought an apartment in London and a small condo in Manhattan," said Jessica.
"So we can infer from this that you are doing well," said Dr. Brimo.
"Yeah. I think I made like a little over thirty million in 2005," said Jessica.
"That much. Jeeez. I mean, well, that is a large amount of money," said Dr. Brimo. The doctor was surprised by the size of the income.
"How did you earn this money?" asked Dr. Brimo as he cleared his throat.
"That's the thing. I don't really know. I mean I do music, I do concerts, I act a little. I am in all the magazines like on a daily basis. God knows why. And I make a lot of money. So this should make me happy, right? But I feel worthless," said Jessica.
Dr. Brimo re-adjusted himself in the large upholstered chair as he continued to absorb the fact that this young woman with little or no talent was raking in thirty mil a year.
"You must be very talented, Jessica, if you are making that kind of money. Your feeling of worthlessness must be coming from some childhood experience, perhaps. Not from any lack of talent today," said Dr. Brimo.
Brimo was still grapling with the talent-free high-income connection. Thirty mill because she has a nice body, can sing at a high school prom, and has a pleasing face? Is that all it takes?
“So again, you must be talented. The money represents that,” said Dr. Brimo.
"You think?" asked Jessica.
"But I think that you need to see me more often. Maybe twice a week. Your feelings of worthlessness can grow worse to the point of, well, I don't want to use the word, but worthless notions can lead to suicide," said Dr. Brimo.
"Oh no. I would never do that. But I travel around too much to see you twice a week," said Jessica.
"You will need to put me on the payroll, and I shall come to wherever you might be. I would be willing to be picked up by a car service and fly like on one of those Net Jets, and visit you wherever that might be. These are the sacrifices I will make for you," said Dr. Brimo.
"Geeee, thanks. OK. So are we done today," said Jessica.
"Yes," said Dr. Brimo.
Jessica stands and pulls down her short skirt which had ridden up her legs as she was sitting.
"So thanks again. I feel better already," said Jessica.
"And you should know that you feel better not because of your income, but because of what we talked about," said Dr. Brimo.
"Of course. I got to run. I am doing a talk show today,” said Jessica.
“Really. Talk about what?” asked Dr. Brimo.
“I don't know, talk. Just talk stuff. You know what I mean," said Jessica.
"Yes. I know what you mean," said Dr. Brimo.
"Toodles," said Jessica as she turned and left through the large polished oak door. Dr. Brimo closed his note pad which contained absolutely no notes.

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